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A Day in the Life of...

Look But Don't Touch

April 2007
by Deborah Lipsky

It is written that we autistics have a hard time generalizing from one situation to the next.  I think that is because the world is a confusing place more so than our difficulty in generalizing. I am thinking back to this time last year when this very predicament [generalizing] affected me.

I set off with my colleague and close friend to talk to a dept head at the local university. His office happened to be in the same building as the health center for students.  While my friend stopped at the reception desk to ask directions I spied this huge candy bowl full of candy in the waiting room.

I digress for a moment. In the past at 2 different banks I do business with I saw a candy dish at the teller's booth. I asked if they were free and the teller said yes so I got accustomed to taking a couple whenever I frequented the bank. I also saw a candy dish at a small local post office and there too they were free so I asked why to which my reply was they are there for "customer appreciation".  Also usually around Christmas I see candy dishes at various businesses with candy in there free for taking. I generalized and thought that if there was a charge there would be a sign that advertised the price, otherwise they were free for "customer appreciation".  It is nice to feel appreciated.  So imagine my delight when I saw the huge bowl [the size of a punch bowl] of individually wrapped candy in the health center waiting room.  It awakened memories of Halloween parties as a kid where I saw bowls of colorful individually wrapped sweet tarts, bit o' honey's, and Hershey kisses.

My brain cried out, "Oh look candy!"  Like a moth to the flame I left my friend Will and bolted into the waiting room attracted by the multi colored individually wrapped candy. Sitting next to the candy bowl was a young man waiting I guess to be seen.  I drove my hand deep inside the bowl and pulled out this huge handful while I tried to make eye contact and smile at the young man. I figured I’d grab a bunch and then share them with my friend later. Well this young man just looked at me with his mouth wide open and a shocked look on this face.  Naturally I knew it was from my impoliteness of taking more than one. I didn't want to put any back because just by the feel of them they felt like over sized sweet tarts which are one of my favorites. I decided to make "small talk" and offer an explanation to my behavior so I said "I am saving these for later...isn't customer appreciation nice?"  He then replied, "Help yourself lady".

When I finally looked down to survey the array of sweet bon bons I clutched in my hands I was overcome by sheer horror.  In my hands weren't a dozen over sized individually wrapped sweet tarts but a handful of various varieties of individually wrapped condoms!!!!  Instinctively I let out a yelp, dropped the condoms back in the bowl and ran out of the room.  In my brain all I heard was my mother's admonition of many years ago, "Look dear but don't touch".  To this day I wonder why someone would break the rule of putting something "other" than candy in a candy dish and leave it for unsuspecting visitors such as myself.  After all some doctor's offices give out candy to kids for good behavior. I won't even go here with this one. So I guess if there is a moral to the story let it be thus..."Look [first] and don't touch", and remember to stick to "eye candy" as it's safer and less awkward.

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